I bet he comes in French.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
