hell yes lets make some ravioli
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
