You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
