Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Randomize
