I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
