I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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