I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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