you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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