I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
