ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
