so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
