I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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