Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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