Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
