im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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