don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
