so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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