you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
