White coat. Heels.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
