That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
