if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
