i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
