Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
