We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
