Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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