I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Redeem this text for a blowjob
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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