I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
