Sponge bath it is.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
