I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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