We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
