I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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