Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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