You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
