Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
