The maid of honor just puked.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
In America we eat man semen.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
