if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
