Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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