ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
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