Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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