ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
