He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
