Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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