Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
