Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
