i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
