God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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