I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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