I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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