That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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