I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
