Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
