Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
