I'm so fucking centered right now
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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