Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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